ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
