My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize