I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
