Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
