We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
