I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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