i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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