do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
