Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
