when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Alive.
So much puke
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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