1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
