I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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