Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
