i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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