So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
