I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
