Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
