high people should be assigned attendants
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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