Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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