Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
