I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
