We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
