what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we made out on top of his cat.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
