I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
