It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
