a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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