shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
