he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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