Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
