Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she was so not down for the gang bang
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
