haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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