in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
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He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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