He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
