Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
