If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize