the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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