nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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