There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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