i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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