You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She is in my trunk
I'm drive I can fine osifer
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
