i barfeds in our rink
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
