I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
