you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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