I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
