hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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