Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
my poor anus
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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