Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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