You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
