Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
