VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
