if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if only i could text you this smell
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
