i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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