yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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