I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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