Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
